


Finding You

by thepolyhedron



Category: Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Body Horror, Bodysharing, Developing Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Canon, Reunion Fic, if an alien entity crawling into you and living there counts as body horror, two dumbasses in love, vague references to cannibalism, you know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-12
Updated: 2018-10-12
Packaged: 2019-07-29 18:35:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16269992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thepolyhedron/pseuds/thepolyhedron
Summary: The thing about living with a parasite like Venom, he thought, was that it was difficult to get used to. And yet it was infinitely harder to get used to not having him there.





	Finding You

**Author's Note:**

> I've never really read the comics, so if anything is inaccurate to them, I apologize.

**_Goodbye, Eddie._ **

The words echo in his ears, bouncing around the confines of his skull, replaying endlessly as he falls through the air as though mocking him.

**_Goodbye, Eddie._ **

And then silence. And the silence was worse than anything else he could have heard.

**_Goodbye, Eddie._ **

The last words Venom had said to him. Before…

He hits the water. Everything goes dark.

*****

He wakes, disoriented, only a few seconds later, sinking fast under the water as debris rains down around him. He thrashes around, struggling to get his bearings in the dark of the night ocean water, before bursting to the surface, gasping for air. 

Back on the shore, he hears sirens wailing. All around him debris from the rocket hits the water with thunderous crashes, sending out violent waves that threaten to send him right back under. But despite the near deafening noise all around him, all he can hear is the silence.

The thing about living with a parasite like Venom, he thought, was that it was difficult to get used to. And yet it was infinitely harder to get used to not having him there, not having his  _ presence. _

He should have died when he hit the water, he knew, falling from the height that he did, but he didn’t. Just one more thing he owes to Venom, he knows.

“Venom?” He calls out into the night, hoping against hope that he’ll get a response. He can’t feel Venom, but maybe he’s still out there somewhere, maybe he didn’t burn with the rest of the rocket. “Venom!  _ Please _ , answer me!”

There’s no response. Around him, the water has gone still once again- or, as still as one could expect the ocean to get. A few leftover pieces of the rocket float on the water’s surface, but other than that there’s already almost no trace left of what happened.

He could cry, he really could.

He feels weaker now, without Venom, and infinitely more vulnerable, and suddenly he’s acutely aware of how far he is from dry land. He could sit here wallowing in self pity all night- god knows he’s good at that- but Venom died saving Earth, saving  _ him _ , and he’ll be damned if he lets that go to waste by drowning here.

He paddles over to one of the larger chunks of debris floating close to him, and manages to clamber on, almost flipping the thing a few times in the process. He has absolutely no clue what part of the rocket this used to be, but if he had to guess he’d say it feels like it’s made of some kind of rubbery material, which would explain why it floats. 

A piece of metal shrapnel decorated with the LIFE Foundation logo rests atop his makeshift float with him. He pushes it off.

He waits. They’ll send boats out eventually, if not for him, then to see what they can recover from the wreckage. He just has to wait. 

He draws his knees to his chest, shivering. He’s soaked, and it’s cold, and there’s a deep ache in his chest, but worse than that, he’s alone. 

It’s not something that he can ignore, either. Even when Venom wasn’t saying anything, he could always feel him, even if at first he hadn’t been certain  _ what  _ he’d been feeling. A constant, thrumming organic presence inside him. It was unsettling at first, but after a while, it had become- comforting. Before Venom, after Anne had left him, he’d been alone. As long as Venom was there, he was never alone. And he misses him.

“Stupid parasite,” he mutters to himself. “You weren’t supposed to leave me behind.”

*****

A boat does come, eventually, just as the Sun is beginning to peek over the horizon, and Anne is on it when it does, leaning over the railing. “Eddie!” She leans back, gesturing to someone behind her. “He’s over there, I  _ told  _ you he was still out here!”

He hears a faint response, but can’t make out anything distinct. Before long, though, the boat is steered up until it’s almost right next to him, and a rope ladder is lowered for him. His arms still feel weak and shaky, but he manages to climb up, Anne grabbing him and pulling him onboard once he’s within reach. He collapses the second the deck is beneath to catch him, and Anne sits down next to him, supporting him so he’s sitting up and  _ not  _ just lying on the floor like the mess he feels. All around them people are bustling around the ship, some in scuba gear, some in police uniform (and Eddie cringes at that, remembering almost eating that cop as Venom just earlier that night), and some in what Eddie thinks might be Coast Guard uniform. One of the cops starts to head their way, but stops short at the look Anne shoots him, turning back around.

“I saw the fight,” she starts awkwardly after a moment. “When the rocket exploded… Eddie, where’s Venom? He said… he mentioned earlier that fire could hurt him.”

He shakes his head. “Venom- Venom didn’t make it,” his voice breaks as he says it, as though speaking the words out loud will somehow make them more true. Anne squeezes his shoulder comfortingly.

“Oh, Eddie,” she sighs. “I’m sorry. I don’t fully understand it, but I know you cared about him.”

“I accused him of trying to kill me. Back at the hospital,” he remembers. “And now he saved me, and the whole world, and I never got the chance to apologize.” Venom had been the one to encourage him to apologize to  _ her, _ in case it was the last chance he got, but he and Anne hadn’t been the ones he needed to worry about. There was a bitter irony to that that left a bad taste in his mouth.

“I’m sure he knew,” she says after another silence. “When he was in my head… it was like he knew what I was thinking, and I knew what he was thinking, feeling. I’m sure he knew.”

“I hope so,” he murmurs. “Thanks for the help, by the way.” If it hadn’t been for Anne blasting that noise, he’s not certain that he and Venom would have been able to get the upper hand. Anne grins at him softly.

“Told you I could fight dirty.”

*****

He wants to go straight back to his apartment at first, until he remembers that it was almost completely destroyed when the Life Foundation had broken in. Fortunately, the Life Foundation, already working under new management and scrambling to avoid a lawsuit, had been incredibly eager to offer to reimburse him for all the damage done, and then some, but it would still take a while for everything to be repaired, and neither the police nor Anne were all that keen on letting him go. The police wanted to question him, but eventually left him alone after he answered what he could- omitting the parts about Venom and downplaying his role in everything to something more believable. Granted, he could tell they still didn’t really believe him, but they couldn’t  _ force  _ him to tell them anything, especially not with a high profile lawyer like Anne refusing to leave his side, and he was obviously a victim in the situation, anyway. That just left him with Anne, who was very obviously not going to leave him alone until he went to the hospital.

So that’s where they end up, Eddie sitting on a stiff hospital bed, picking absently at the paper underneath him. Anne’s standing in the hall outside, talking to Dan about something he can’t quite make out.

The silence in his head is deafening.

Time seems to pass slowly. After what could have been a few minutes or a few hours, Dan steps into the room, alone.

“Hey Eddie, how are you feeling?” He asks, in what Eddie would describe as a very  _ doctor  _ tone of voice- friendly and kind, but still professional.

He was glad that Dan was the one who’d looked over him when he arrived. He’d been slightly stung by how fast Anne had seemed to move on after their split, sure, but he liked Dan. Dan was a good guy, and he and Anne were good together, he could tell.

Hell, anyone who knew what Dan did that didn’t run screaming from this whole situation had earned his respect.

“‘ve been better,” he answers honestly, and Dan nods.

“Well, physically, you’re pretty much fine, which is a miracle considering the height you fell from.” Not a miracle, he thinks,  _ Venom _ . “You did fracture a few of your ribs when you hit the water. They should heal up just fine, and in the meantime I’ve prescribed you some anti-inflammatories and pain medication,” he hesitates a moment before adding on, handing him his prescription as he continues. There’s a business card on top of the paper, but it’s not Dan’s. “That card is for a psychiatrist I’ve worked with before. She does good work, and she has experience dealing with PTSD.” Eddie opens his mouth to protest, and shuts it just as quick. Did he have PTSD? It wouldn’t surprise him too much. He’d been through a lot in the past few days- most people didn’t have to deal with being shot at, chases by exploding drones, or sharing a body with an alien. “And I’m sure she can recommend you a therapist in the area who specializes in grief counseling.” He puts a hand on his shoulder, squeezing reassuringly. “I’m sorry about Venom, Eddie. Anne told me.”

Eddie stares down at the card in his lap, numb. “He died saving the world.”

_ What made you change your mind? _

_ You. _

He shakes the memory off, giving Dan a weak smile. Judging from the concerned look on Dan’s face, it’s not all that convincing. “Sorry about, uh, ruining your date before, by the way. You know, with the whole, lobster tank thing. And thanks for not letting them call the cops, by the way. Anyway, that. Uh. Shouldn’t happen again.”

Dan shakes his head. “Don’t worry about that, Eddie. You weren’t well, it’s not your fault.” He gives him another reassuring pat on the shoulder before heading back to the door. “You just focus on recovering, alright? And if you need anything, give Anne or I a call.”

He steps out, and a few moments later Anne steps in. She looks over him critically. “Dan says you’re fine to go. Do you have a place to stay?”

He shrugs. “I can go back to my apartment.”

“The one the Life Foundation destroyed?” She asks skeptically. “You can stay with us for a while if you need to, you know.”

He smiles at her appreciatively. “I know, Anne,” he shrugs. “I just need to stay there long enough to find a new place. I’ll be fine.”

*****

Eddie wasn’t fine.

He’d thought that he would be, but the second he stepped through the (broken) doorway, he knew he wasn’t fine. Just stepping through the door brought back a flood of memories.

Granted, they were hardly all good memories. Getting shot at, eating an entire bag of frozen tator tots and chicken out of the trash and then throwing it all back up- yeah, they weren’t all good. But they were still reminders of  _ Venom _ , and that’s what made them hurt.

He walks into his (thankfully mostly untouched) bedroom, sitting down carefully. His ribs ache, but he hadn’t dropped off his prescription at the pharmacy yet- he hadn’t wanted to stay out longer than necessary. Not that getting back to his apartment promised to be that much of a treat.

The police had been pretty quick to clear out of his apartment- it was still a crime scene, so they’d been in and gathered the things they deemed evidence (he noticed, with some amount of bafflement, that his microwave was gone- maybe it had been hit in the gunfight. He was definitely making the Life Foundation pay for it regardless). But the whole “rocket exploding over the coast” thing was definitely the bigger priority, and most of the force was there, so he was in luck. Not necessarily  _ good  _ luck, but luck. 

He lays back on the bed and closes his eyes, and tries not to think about how alone he feels.

*****

The next few weeks get better, slowly. He heals, physically. He looks at the card Dan gave him a few times, but he’s not ready yet. Part of him still wants to believe that maybe, somehow, Venom is still alive. Part of him refuses to let go. He doesn’t know if he ever fully will.

He has nightmares about that night, about Drake. About Maria. He wakes up some nights screaming, sweating profusely, and wishes desperately that he wasn’t alone.

He gets work again- in fact, it seems like people can’t  _ wait  _ to hire him, now. The network even offers him his old job back, and an ungracious part of him wants to take it if only to rub in their faces that he was  _ right  _ all along- but he doesn’t. Writing suits him better than reporting right now.

He moves into a much better apartment, one where he doesn’t have to listen to rock music blasting at all hours of the day. Not that that had been a problem for a while- he didn’t see much of his neighbor before he moved out. He guessed the guy was too shaken by what he’d seen- which, really, Eddie would feel bad for, but he was kind of an asshole.

Life goes back to normal, for a given value of normal. It still hurts, but he forces himself to work through it, distracting himself, and gradually it becomes something he can ignore. Sometimes.

And then he gets shot.

*****

He was being stupid. What else was new. He was on the trail of a story, something he thought could be big. He’d trailed the guy to an abandoned building- what a cliche- and had been about to follow him in, when he’d heard gunfire from inside.

Great.

He was about to make a strategic retreat (in other words, run the fuck away as fast as his legs could carry him), when he heard the sound of glass breaking behind him and, moments later, mid stride, felt something warm and wet dripping down his chest.

Shit.

_ Shit. _

They hadn’t even shot him on purpose- it was just stray fire. Just bad luck.

Somehow that made it worse.

He makes it a block away before the shock finally wears off and the pain hits him, legs nearly collapsing beneath him.

He just manages to stumble over to a nearby wall, sliding down it slowly. It still hurts.

He rests on the cold concrete, trying to focus on his breathing. He digs through his pockets, trying to reach his phone, to get help. It’s getting harder to breathe. He thinks that the bullet must have hit a lung, and struggles to push down his panic. He pulls out his phone, and then immediately drops it on the ground, hands shaking hard. He leans forward to pick it up without thinking, and fresh spikes of pain shoot through his body. God, he can’t  _ breathe.  _ He doubles over, unable to stop himself despite the pain as he begins coughing uncontrollably.

Shit, he’s really going to die like this, huh? After everything else,  _ this  _ is going to be what does him in.

Venom died for him and he threw his life away less than two months later. 

His coughing gradually dies down, and he doesn’t know whether or not that’s a good thing at this point. He sits up, eyes watering painfully. “Sorry, Venom.”

He hopes the parasite can hear him, wherever he might be now.

**_“You_ ** **should** **_be sorry, you fucking idiot.”_ **

If it weren’t for the pain still wracking his body, he would be sure he’d finally died. His vision is blurry, whether from tears or dying he’s not sure, but he rubs them anyway, staring at the person standing over him.

He knows that voice. He’d know it anywhere.

He’s never seen the man standing in front of him before in his life, but he knows him instantly. He’s disheveled, wearing what looks like dirty jogging clothes even though it’s the middle of night farther away from any residential or park areas a jogger would normally venture. The man kneels down in front of him and places a hand on his bare arm, and as Eddie watches he sees what look like black veins moving through the joggers hand and on to his arm.

_ Venom. _

The jogger drops to the ground in front of him, dead.

**_What were you thinking?_ ** Venom’s voice hisses in his head.  **_Last time we checked, your species wasn’t bullet proof._ **

“Well,” he mumbles through the pain. “I wasn’t exactly planning on getting shot.”

**_Stop talking, you’re making it worse._ **

But he feels better already. He looks down at his wound just in time to see the skin seemingly knitting itself back together, and before long he’s breathing easy.

It’s like he never got shot at all.

He stands up experimentally, testing his strength, and only wobbles a bit. “Where have you been? I thought you were…” he can’t finish the thought, but Venom knows what he’s trying to say.

**_Almost. Separated from you in the fire, and when we made it back, we couldn’t find you, Eddie._ **

He tells him everything, but not in words- in memories, sensations, feelings. Eddie sees him, moving from body to body, host to host, searching the whole city, looking for him. He feels his desperation, his loss- and in return, Eddie shares his own memories. He couldn’t tell anyone how he did it, but it was as natural as breathing, and felt somehow right.

“How did you find me?”   
**_Could still feel you, even when we were separated. You’re our perfect host, Eddie. When you were hurt, we felt it, and we knew where you were._ **

Their shared mindspace is full of joy, and relief.

And when Venom sees him getting shot, through his eyes, fresh anger is added into the mix.

**_Hungry, Eddie. Let’s go eat._ **

And Eddie finds he doesn’t even want to disagree.

*****   
Nine dead bodies and a few hours later, they’re back at Eddie’s-  _ their  _ apartment.

And for the first time in a long time, Eddie feels like he’s home.

He climbs into his bed, exhausted from his day, and closes his eyes. “Love you, parasite.”

He feels Venom’s shock, and then elation, before the other even responds.

**_Not a parasite, Eddie,_ ** his other responds.  **_Love you too._ **

**Author's Note:**

> After Venom "died":  
> Anne: Eddie-  
> Eddie, crying: Venom used to call me Eddie  
> Anne: Yeah because that's your fucking name  
> *****  
> Wow I haven't posted anything forever and the first thing I come back with is a Venom fic. Well. I hope you enjoyed it, and as usual, I live for comments. Leave your opinions, constructive criticism, or just heckle me to work on my in progress fics that I haven't updated in over a year and call it a day. Or not! No pressure.  
> Thanks for reading!  
> You can find me on Tumblr on either thestarsibling (my writing blog) or the-polyhedron (my general blog).


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